Let's get into these questions, shall we!?

LEADERSHIP STYLE

1. How do you define leadership?

Mainstream definitions say that leadership is about guiding and influencing people. I define leadership as a process of being responsible for self and responsive to others.

2. Why am I so hesitant about identifying as a leader?

You've bought into the hype that says you need to be a lone wolf, extraverted, hierarchical, all- knowing and that you should "never let 'em see you sweat".

3. What's the most important skill?

Acknowledge when you fuck up, faster. Don't "fake it till you make it". Choose accountability.

COLLABORATION

4. How do I get team buy-in?

Buy-in is about willingly supporting and participating in something. It's easier for people to support when they are included from the beginning and at all major stages, not at the point that you actually need them to do a thing.

5. How do I encourage folx to lead?

Instead of asking "Who wants to take the lead on ___"?, ask about the specific task that needs doing. Offer to train if there's a willingness to try but the skill has not been developed yet.

6. Why aren't we more collaborative?

Have ya'll defined what collaboration looks like? Often times we think we're defining words similarly and we're not.

RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING

7. How can I get folks to buy-in?

Buy-in is about willingly supporting and participating in something. It's easier for people to support when they are included from the beginning and at all major stages, not at the point that you actually need them to do a thing.

8. We're feeling so disconnected virtually, what can we do?

First, confirm that this is a widely held, accurate belief. If it is, find ways to simulate in-person experiences (ex. Watercooler chats on the calendar)

9. Can I stop cliques from happening?

Bruh, this is something I'm still learning. I'd suggest to bring this to the team re: inclusion.

FEEBACK

10. My team feels like my feedback is too harsh, what can I do better?

Before giving feedback, I suggest asking how people like to receive feedback so that they are more likely to hear it and so it's aligned to their goals.

11. What structure can I use to give and receive ongoing feedback (1:1)?

At the end of recurring meetings, you can add a space for one person to give the other person feedback and vice-versa. Be sure not to skip this part and adjust the timing as needed (this will change).

12. How to include ongoing feedback in a team-specific structure?

I like to add a Glow + Grow section at the end of each meeting. See above re: timing.

13. Why does "Can I give you feedback?" make me want to poo?

Likely previous feedback has been traumatic, ungrounded or given without consent. Feedback is about the Receiver, not the Giver. I'm sorry that your Givers did not know this.

14. How can I improve my feedback giving skills?

In my Feel Good Feedback Guide, I share that feedback has 3 parts, you can use this Guide as inspiration.

15. I gave someone feedback but they didn't do anything with it?

Was the feedback given in the way the Receiver prefers? Was it the right time? Was it goal-relevant?

In my Feel Good Feedback Guide, I share that feedback has 3 parts, you can use this Guide as inspiration.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

16. I fucked up and now my team doesn't trust me...HELP.

First, I'd suggest finding someone to support you so you're not asking your team to process the feels. Second, the Emergent Strategy principle "Move at the speed of trust" comes to mind. Trust is slow, especially to rebuild.

17. I'm fucking exhausted but my boundary-setting game is weak.

Prentis Hemphill says "Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously". Does that shift how you approach boundaries?

18. Why does conflict suck so hard?

Many of us are unskilled in managing conflict productively. But we can learn.

VALUES-ALIGNMENT

19. How can I notice when I'm not aligned with my values?

I say "stay ready so you don't have to get ready" so make time and define what your values look like in action.

20. What could it look like to be accountable, not in a punitive way?

I think we can look to the work of abolitionists and the Transformative Justice movement for lessons. Compassion seems important here.

21. I work within oppressive institutions, what can I do to resist?

In my Shaping Change Workbook, I share prompts to help you partner with change, you can use this Workbook for ideas to disrupt.

Do you have questions you want me to answer, DM or email me.