The Art of Timing: When to Give Feedback for Maximum Impact

Giving feedback can feel challenging, especially when you're not sure of the right timing. Knowing when to give feedback can really impact how the feedback will feel for you to give and for the receiver to hear. This post will describe when you want to offer feedback immediately and when to wait for a better moment to share your critiques.

Why Give Feedback Immediately

Sometimes, giving feedback right away is the best choice. Here are some reasons to consider:

1. You Might Forget

If you know you tend to delay feedback, you may end up not giving it at all. If this is a pattern for you, sharing your thoughts immediately might help avoid losing the opportunity altogether (especially if you're someone who tends to worry and overthink about things).

2. Positive Reinforcement

When you notice something good happening, don't wait! Sharing positive feedback right away can boost a person’s spirits and encourage them to keep doing their best. Everyone appreciates a little recognition so in the spirit of giving people their flowers, while they here, please share that positive feedback sooner than later.

3. Small Corrections

If the feedback is about a minor issue, such as forgetting to file a document properly, it’s best to address it immediately. Small corrections like this can be quickly resolved and can help improve workflows without creating unnecessary stress for anyone involved.

4. Established Trust

If you have a strong relationship with the person receiving feedback, it’s likely safer to share it sooner than later. Why? Because when trust is built, people are more likely to accept feedback, even if it isn't perfectly phrased.

When to Delay Giving Feedback

Not all feedback needs to be immediate. Sometimes, waiting can lead to more useful, thoughtful and effective discussions. Consider the following reasons to hold off:

1. Lack of Trust

If you don’t know the person well or haven’t built a rapport, it might be wise to wait. Without trust, the feedback may not be well-received, and it could lead to misunderstandings.

2. Vague or Not Immediately Actionable Feedback

If your feedback isn’t clear or practical, it may be better to delay. Instead of offering general comments, take time to think about how your feedback can be concrete and useful for the individual.

3.  A hard AF day

If the person you want to give feedback to is going through a tough time or if it’s not a good moment for them, it’s better to postpone the conversation. You can schedule a time when they’re more open to receiving feedback.

4. Emotional Readiness

If you feel angry or frustrated about the situation, take a beat and give yourself time to process and be with those feelings before unleashing it to someone else. While I love me some feelings, there are times when your emotions could negatively cloud the message you want to deliver.

Tips for Right Timing the Feedback

Getting the timing right is hella important. Here are some strategies to help you:

1. Ask for Preferences

Have a conversation about how, when and what kind of feedback the receiver is interested in BEFORE you even think about giving feedback. This was you can use the receiver's feedback preferences to set the stage for a more productive discussion.

2. Communicate Clearly

When it’s time to share feedback, frame it in a way that feels comfortable for both of you. Instead of saying, "I have feedback for you," try something like, "Can we discuss something I’ve noticed?".

3. Create a Feedback Culture

Encourage regular feedback exchanges in your organization. This practice can lessen the anxiety surrounding feedback conversations, turning them into routine discussions rather than rare, high-pressure moments. If you want help with this, check out the blog post: How to Build a Culture of Feedback at your Nonprofit.

Putting it all together

Whether you choose to share your thoughts immediately or wait for the right moment, please consider the receiver's feelings and your relationship with them. By being thoughtful about timing, you can help ensure that your feedback is constructive and well-received (making it more likely to be implemented by the receiver).

If you enjoyed this blog post, you might also want to download the Feel Good Feedback Guide where I share even more detailed examples and structures about what to do when you're the feedback giver.

Here's a preview of what you will find in this 20ish page Feel Good Feedback Guide:

• Shared Language: Before we get into all the things, let's make sure we're operating from the same understanding. I'm sharing what I mean by consent-based, trauma-aware and generative.
• Methods of Feedback Delivery: I'm sharing 3 ways to ask or reflect on so you have a better sense of HOW, WHAT and WHEN to give feedback.
• Scenario Setup & Suggestions: I'm sharing recommendations for what you can do before, during and post giving feedback.
• Feedback Fuckery: Because I think it helps to see what NOT to do.
• Noteworthy: Naming shit that would be helpful for your feedback to be more likely to be implemented.

THIS IS HOW I CAN SUPPORT YOU...

My name is Petra Vega and I support BIPOC and Queer nonprofit leaders who want to speak up during crucial moments and meetings, even when self-doubt may be getting in the way.

As a Liberatory Leadership Coach, Emergent Strategist, Social Justice Facilitator, and Radical Social Worker, Petra weaves an anti-oppression lens, healing tools and playful possibility into WHO and HOW we lead.

🍄 Want to implement feedback that feels good for the receiver and the giver? Download the Feel Good Feedback Guide (it's free)

🍄 Ready to start unlearning oppressive beliefs and practices? Watch the 'So You Wanna Be Less Oppressive' Workshop Series